Comments(7) I was told last Wednesday that my husband of 20 years (in one month), is leaving me. This is not how I wanted to lose weight. I am so devastated and I can’t eat.
Comments(0) It’s 2:15 and I still haven’t eaten. What is wrong with me? I can’t seem to wrap my head around the food thing. Logic tells me that I need to eat to help burn calories, but I can’t get myself to do it. I added a before picture. That alone should get me to do what I need to do.
Comments(2) to put food in my journal that I plan on eating. If you have read through my past posts, I believe I mentioned I have issues with not eating enough. I used to REALLY not eat enough, and while I still struggle with that, I have added on the new “eat crap” habit. Sweet Jesus, I’m messed up. I have been adding foods the last couple of days that I plan on eating, then have to go and take them off when I don’t actually eat them. I think that will stop today.
Now for the fun stuff. I have been working with my husband for the last year. My daughter started a few months ago, and as time has gone on, we have realized only one of us is needed. As she is working until she starts cosmetology school in the fall, I decided I would take the time off until she starts. We don’t need my income, but I feel like a failure, not contributing to the household finances. I am no Mrs. Cleaver…I don’t know how to cook (great for my eating habits), I have a housekeeper that comes once a week and all I really have to do is make my bed every day and pick up my younger daughter from school. I AM BORED OUT OF MY MIND!!!! I was going to volunteer at her school, but they don’t have opportunities, as they have the student’s do much of what parents would typically do. They also don’t have PTA (what?).
Anyway, I would appreciate ideas from anyone who is a stay at homer, and doesn’t have small children to be responsible for. It’s hard going from 40 hours a week to nothing, almost over night.
(Off to remove that food item)
Comments(0) I CANNOT believe how much I weigh. Okay, I don’t know that I gained eight pounds in one day, but likely the scale was wrong yesterday. I don’t remember ever weighing this much. I know negative talk is generally unhealthy, but I have to be honest with myself, rather than “the glass is half full” when it’s empty.
I am disgusted with myself. I can’t believe I have let myself get to this point. It has to change or I will never be happy with myself. Yes, my family is important, but ultimately, even they can’t motivate me to be healthier. Don’t get me wrong, I want encouragement, but I am the only one who can push myself. If I don’t, all the encouraging words in the world won’t help.
I am changing my life today. I am going to do the unthinkable and post a before picture later today. I have never had the courage to do that before and I still don’t, but I’m going to suck it up and do it anyway.
Not sure why this isn’t showing up. I guess if nothing else, it’s good for me.
